


Kurt Hummel and the Disastrous First Date

by skintightsocks



Series: Harry Potter AU [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-19
Updated: 2011-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-01 23:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/362667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skintightsocks/pseuds/skintightsocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just a <i>date</i>. Any other occasion and Kurt would know exactly how to accessorize without that mildly queasy feeling in his stomach that may or may not be nerves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kurt Hummel and the Disastrous First Date

**Author's Note:**

> This is fic 8 of 8 (or rather, fic 8/7) of our HP!AU. Previous parts can be found [here](http://skintightsocks.livejournal.com/tag/%21hp%20au). We finally finished this thing! \o/ It started as a way to get us writing and posting again in anticipation of the premiere, and somehow ended up 28,000+ words, wow. We don't know if we'll ever return to this 'verse to write more, but it was a joy to write about Glee at Hogwarts, and we thank you so much for all your lovely comments along the way. ♥ A special, special thanks to [](http://naderegen.livejournal.com/profile)[**naderegen**](http://naderegen.livejournal.com/) for the gorgeous, _gorgeous_ veela!Kurt/Blaine art she posted [here](http://naderegen.tumblr.com/post/10200902912/gah-stss-harry-potter-au-is-ridiculous-and-i), and to [](http://honorarymaraudr.livejournal.com/profile)[**honorarymaraudr**](http://honorarymaraudr.livejournal.com/)'s beau's adorable kitten eyebrow art [here](http://skintightsocks.livejournal.com/20076.html?thread=2371948#t2371948). We are honestly so lucky to have such sweet and talented readers. ♥♥♥

"Okay, which one is it going to be?"

"This one!" Rachel says, picking up the pink scarf at the end of Kurt's bed.

"Rachel, that's yours. You literally just set it down on my bed. No."

"I think you're limiting yourself, Kurt, and that's not very Slytherin-like." Rachel throws the scarf back around her neck, sitting down at the edge of Kurt's bed while Kurt grumbles and tugs one of his scarves out from under her skirt.

"Why did I ask for your help again?" Kurt asks himself.

"You didn't, I offered. And you should undo more buttons at the top, give him something to look at."

"Rachel, it's _winter_ ," Kurt says, and when she tries to reach up and mess with his buttons, he extends his arm and points to the door. "Go. _Go._ "

"If you've got it, flaunt it!" Rachel sings as she leaves his room.

Kurt sighs. It's just a _date_. Any other occasion and Kurt would know exactly how to accessorize without that mildly queasy feeling in his stomach that may or may not be nerves.

Kurt can do this. He _can_.

-

Kurt walks down into the common room wearing three scarves.

"Oh _honey_ ," Santana says, hiding her laughter behind her hand, and Rachel helps tug Kurt over to the couch. She starts to unwind the scarves from around his neck and Kurt sighs again, sinking back into the couch.

"I can't do this. I'm too nervous and I'm going to ruin everything and everyone knows first dates leave lasting impressions."

Rachel's eyebrows furrow. "Wait, first date? I thought you were already going out with Blaine?"

"I am," Kurt mumbles.

"But-- but you date all the time! You've been dating for _months_!"

"Yes," Kurt says slowly, "but we've never actually gone on a _date_ -date. We just see each other a lot and hook up when we can."

"Preach," Santana says without looking up from her homework.

"But what about that time I saw you both outside under a tree together, right before--"

"Right before Sam and Blaine tried to pet the giant squid and he picked Blaine up by the ankle and waved him around? That wasn't a _date_ , we just went outside for a little while. Blaine got us dinner reservations for tonight," Kurt says shakily. "This is the real deal."

"Please tell me it's not at Madam Puddifoot's," Santana says with a groan, dropping her quill and putting her feet up on the table in front of her. "That place makes me gag. It's for third years who don't know any better."

"No, it's that new place that opened down from Dervish and Banges. I think it's called Broomsticks."

"It's Broom _stix_ , with an x," Santana says, her eyes lighting up, and Kurt doesn't even ask how she knew he was saying it _without_ an x. "I love that place, I've already been there like seven times. They have these breadsticks that are shaped like brooms and they have to keep bringing you more, no matter how many you eat. They have to."

"Why spell it with an x?" Kurt asks, picking up one of the scarves and winding it back around his neck.

"It's whimsical," Rachel says, taking the scarf back off.

"We're wizards and witches," Kurt says. "How much more whimsy do we need?"

"Just leave already, date-virgin," Santana says. "You're practically shivering like a chihuahua, it's making _me_ nervous."

-

"Hello, gorgeous," Blaine says with a bright smile, walking up to Kurt and kissing his cheek as Kurt steps out of the castle, both of them ignoring a pair of giggling second year girls that hurry past them. It's cloudy and the wind is bitter enough that Kurt's glad he finally settled on one of his warmer scarves. After he wrestled it out of Rachel's hands, anyway.

"Hello to you too," Kurt says cheerfully. "And what, you have no song to serenade me with?" Kurt means it as a joke, an attempt to lighten the mood and maybe get the horrible butterflies in his stomach to quit, but he regrets it the second Blaine's face falls.

"I-- I didn't prepare anything, no. Was I supposed to? You told me eighteen days into our relationship I wasn't allowed to give impromptu performances around you anymore, I thought--"

"Eighteen days, really?" Kurt remembers day one, because it was the hottest kiss of his life, but everything after that is kind of a blur. Leave it to Blaine to remember the exact day Kurt told him to stop showing off.

"I really like performing, Kurt," Blaine says seriously. Kurt sighs and pats Blaine's cheek before dropping his hand down to link his fingers with Blaine's.

"I know, sweetie. And it was just a joke."

"Oh, you're shaking," Blaine says, eyebrows furrowed, and he tugs Kurt closer to his body. "Come on, it's not a long walk. We just have to avoid--"

"I will end you, Hudson!" Puck yells, and Kurt and Blaine both duck as an enchanted snowball goes flying past them, hitting some poor third year in the face.

"That," Blaine finishes.

"What on earth?" Kurt asks, looking around. He can't see Puck anywhere, but then another snowball shoots out from behind a huge snowbank and zooms past them toward a group of bushes.

"They've been at this since before lunch," Blaine sighs. "Apparently Finn told Lauren about that time Puck tried to seduce Professor Sylvester and she hexed him, and now Lauren wants nothing to do with him."

"Not that I blame her," Kurt says, because seriously. Once you know that someone had enchanted boils on their ass that screamed, " _Pervert_!" every time they sat down, the magic is kind of gone. Professor Sylvester had only undone the hex after Professor Schuester had gone to Headmaster Figgins because no one in Gryffindor Tower could get any sleep. "But how did Lauren miss that?"

"That was fourth year, when she went to Durmstrang as an exchange student, remember?" Blaine says, pulling him out of the way of another snowball and starting back down the path to Hogsmeade.

"Oh, right," Kurt says, letting Blaine pull him closer even though his nerves are calming down a little. "Did you know she almost stayed?" Kurt asks as Finn shouts something about Puck's dick behind them. "She was apparently a huge hit there because she lead their bear wrestling team to its first victory in ten years."

"I'm glad she didn't," Blaine says, tilting his head up to kiss Kurt's jaw. "She's the one who convinced me to finally make a move, you know."

"Really?" Kurt asks. "You never told me that."

"Well by 'convinced' I mean 'mercilessly taunted,' but yes," Blaine says. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Kurt Hummel." He almost pulls the whole smooth thing off, too, until one of Finn's snowballs veers off course and hits him in the back of the head.

-

"This place is so much quieter than Three Broomsticks," Kurt says across the table, and Blaine smiles warmly at Kurt, reaching across the table to take Kurt's hand. Kurt feels his stomach flutter, hoping that Blaine can't tell how sweaty his palms are or that Kurt can at least blame it on his gloves.

"Thanks for agreeing to come here with me," Blaine says softly, squeezing Kurt's hand. "I know this is usually your day to hang out with Mercedes."

"Mercedes understands," Kurt says with a wave of his free hand. In truth, Mercedes is probably too busy in the Restricted Section with Sam anyway, but Blaine doesn't need to know that.

Blaine's rubbing at Kurt's hand with his thumb, staring at him in the flickering candlelight on their table, and Kurt's breath catches in his throat, his heart pounding as he tries to convince himself it wouldn't be appropriate to lean over the table and kiss Blaine right this second.

"Are you sure you don't need some more water?" Kurt winces, tearing his eyes away from Blaine and looking up at their waiter.

"I'm sure, yes," Kurt says, as politely as he can manage.

"What about more breadsticks?" he asks, staring at Kurt shamelessly.

"I think we're good," Kurt says, motioning pointedly to the corner of their table where there are twelve baskets of breadsticks piled up.

"You know," the waiter says, turning completely toward Kurt and leaning into the table, "we have a _delicious_ special tonight that I could probably get you for half off--"

"Excuse me, do you mind checking to see when our food's going to be out?" Blaine says suddenly, loud but pleasant enough that anyone else besides Kurt wouldn't be able to hear the underlying "fuck off" in Blaine's tone.

"Right, sure," the waiter mumbles, finally leaving the table, and Kurt slumps back in his seat.

"Blaine, I am _so_ sorry."

Blaine shrugs, giving Kurt a sheepish smile. "You can't help who you are, Kurt. I don't fault you for being part-Veela, I promise, it's just--"

"You're sick of people hitting on me?" Kurt offers.

"I'm upset you have to put up with the constant harassment," Blaine finishes, grabbing Kurt's hand again. Blaine's eyes are so warm and sincere that Kurt thinks, _Fuck it_ , leaning up to kiss Blaine across the table when someone slides into the booth next to him, putting their arm around his shoulders.

"Hey, teen gays!" Santana says cheerfully. "Mind passing me some breadsticks, Hufflepuff?"

" _Santana_ ," Kurt hisses. "Leave."

"This is all your fault, you know," Santana says, reaching over Kurt and grabbing a basket of breadsticks, crunching into one before she dumps the rest unceremoniously into her bag. "You're the one who was freaking out about this whole first date thing, which is incredibly stupid, by the way. Once you're having sex with someone the only thing you have to be nervous about is a pregnancy scare and that's obviously not going to be a problem for you two, or at least not unless I finally figure out the last ingredient to make that Pregnancy Potion work."

"Santana," Blaine says evenly. "Not to be rude, but---"

"Ugh, whatever," Santana says, rolling her eyes. "Your stupid, nervous loverboy here was the one who mentioned this place and made me crave some breadsticks in the first place."

"Yes, but now you've taken most of ours and we're on a date, so if you wouldn't mind leaving," Blaine says, giving her a big, fake smile.

"Just a second," Santana sighs, holding her bag open and grabbing her wand. " _Accio_ breadsticks," Santana says, smiling happily as breadsticks go flying at her from all over the restaurant. "I knew that bottomless bag charm would come in handy for more than shoplifting. Have fun, date-virgin!" she says, hurrying toward the door when someone starts shouting at her from the back of the restaurant.

"Well that couldn't have gone worse," Kurt sighs, rubbing at his temple. "Blaine, I'm really sorry--"

"Hey," Blaine says, squeezing his hand again. "There's nothing to be nervous about. You know that, right?"

"Shut up," Kurt says, blushing. "You know Santana lies. I have no idea what she was talking about."

"Sure you don't," Blaine says, rolling his eyes but letting it go. Kurt's just starting to relax again when their waiter shows up with their food.

"Now I know you ordered the fettuccine, but I brought you the lasagna because it's the best thing on the menu and you deserve the best," their waiter says, so busy staring at Kurt that he completely ignores Blaine as he goes to lift the plate off the tray, and promptly spills the entire plate of lasagna all over Blaine's head.

"Oh my god," Kurt says as Blaine blinks meat sauce out of his eyes. He wants to do about ten things at once, including hexing their stupid waiter and begging Blaine to forgive him and disappearing into the floor. What he actually does, however, is calmly stand up and then run as fast as he can out the front door, his legs seeming to move on their own and his throat going tight as he tries to stop himself from crying.

-

Blaine finds him a few minutes later, sitting on a bench outside of Dervish and Banges and still wiping furtively at his eyes.

"Hi," Blaine says softly, sitting down beside him. It takes everything Kurt has not to cuddle into his side. "I don't guess there's anyway I'm going to convince you to come back inside, huh?"

"Why would you even want me to," Kurt says, staring down at his feet. "I'll probably just make the waiter spill more stuff on you or I'll knock over the candle and set the entire restaurant on fire or something because I'm _horrible_ at this."

"You're being silly," Blaine says softly.

"How you can say that when you're covered with lasagna right now?" Kurt says miserably.

"If you would actually _look_ at me," Blaine says, tilting Kurt's chin up with warm fingers, "you might remember that we're _wizards_ and it took me all of five seconds to _Scourgify_ the worst of it away."

"But I've been out here for like ten minutes," Kurt says, still feeling stupid and stubborn and embarrassed. God, what Kurt wouldn't give to take back agreeing to go on a date with Blaine.

"I tried to pay the bill and the manager refused and then gave me a bunch of gift certificates," Blaine says, rolling his eyes and wrapping an arm around Kurt's shoulders, pulling him close. "Even if you never want to go out with me again, at least you'll have something to bribe Santana with."

"Me?" Kurt scoffs, wincing a little when his voice breaks. "Why would _you_ ever want to go out with me again? I ruined _everything_ , Blaine, just like I knew I would."

"Kurt, you are the smartest person I know," Blaine says softly, kissing his forehead. "So why on earth are you being so incredibly stupid right now?"

"Hey," Kurt says, sitting up and glaring. "Look me in eyes and tell me that date wasn't a _disaster_."

"That date wasn't a disaster," Blaine says, staring at him pointedly. "Sure, Santana... existed, and our waiter was apparently _very_ susceptible to your Veela powers of hotness, but I finally got to take you on an actual _date_. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"I just knew everything was going to go wrong," Kurt says quietly. "And you wouldn't ever want to date me again, and we'd start drifting apart and--" Blaine cuts him off with a kiss, soft but insistent, before he pulls back and rests his forehead against Kurt's.

"I wouldn't care if you _had_ set me on fire," Blaine says. "I love you, Kurt. No bad date is going to change that, because even at the worst of times I'm still always happy to be with _you_."

"Stop saying such sweet things," Kurt says, taking in a shaky breath, "and take me home, Blaine Hufflepuff."

"I can do that," Blaine says, standing up and taking Kurt's hand. "but we have to stop by Honeydukes first."

"What do you need from Honeydukes?" Kurt asks, letting Blaine link their arms together, staying close. It's dark now and the wind has only gotten colder, nipping at Kurt's nose and ears. The alley they're headed down is strangely deserted, too, and it makes an unpleasant chill creep up Kurt's spine.

"I need to get you more sugar quills."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Blaine, you've been very sweet this evening but I completely ruined our date. Even objectively. There's no need to buy me candy."

"Clearly," Blaine says, a mischievous grin playing at his mouth, "you've never watched yourself eat sugar quills."

Kurt can feel himself start to turn pink. That... actually explains a lot, now that Kurt thinks about it.

"Besides, we can sneak into the hidden passage back to Hogwarts so we don't have to walk in the cold. Here, I know shortcut right up this way, it cuts through an alley and takes us back around--"

"Blaine, stop," Kurt says quietly, and even he can tell that his voice sounds _wrong_ when he says it, too thin. Blaine follows his gaze straight ahead, where a tall, fully-cloaked figure is facing them, just a few buildings down.

"Who is that?" Blaine asks, but the thing answers his question for him, because suddenly the street is getting darker, the air is getting thick and horribly cold like any last bit of warmth has been sucked out entirely, and Kurt feels a tremendous sense of dread settle over him. "Kurt, that's a--"

"Dementor," Kurt finishes for him. Kurt's only read about them, but there's no mistaking what else it could be, tall and dark and no sign of a person under the dark, tattered cloak as it starts to slide toward them.

"But they fled," Blaine insists, voice shaking and arm still gripping Kurt tight to his side. "What's it doing here, it shouldn't--"

"Blaine," Kurt groans, feeling himself grow weak, his brain clouding with fear and sadness and a voice, a very sad, quiet voice, that is unmistakably-- no. No, Kurt doesn't want to hear her like that, he doesn't want to _relive_ that.

"Blaine," Kurt says again, louder, but Blaine is pressed hard to Kurt's side, trembling and silent.

Kurt's never been more scared in his life.

The creature gets closer, close enough to start reaching out for Blaine with its shriveled hand, and just like that, something inside Kurt snaps. Something fierce and hot and _angry_ , and Kurt draws strength from it as he raises his wand slowly, facing the horrible thing with the smell of death and rot upon its breath and its sunken, terrible face.

"Get the _fuck_ away from my boyfriend," Kurt growls, and he pushes away the darkness, the sadness, the feeling that this isn't going to work - he pushes all of it away and keeps his mind focused on that one thing, on him, on _Blaine_. Blaine who loves him, Blaine who fights his own demons every time he gets an owl from his dad, Blaine who's beautiful and kind and an attention hog and _not this Dementor's to have._

" _Expecto Patronum_!" Kurt shouts, voice loud and clear and strong in a way it never is, sounding strange to his own ears. A brilliant white shape bursts from the tip of his wand and charges the Dementor down, driving it back down the alley and farther, far away until Kurt can't see his Patronus or the Dementor at all.

Kurt collapses on the ground, panting, and he's dimly aware of Blaine's arms sliding around his waist, hugging him tight. Kurt slides his arm around Blaine's back and rubs his sleeve over his eyes, not sure when he started crying.

"Kurt," Blaine breathes, tucking his face into Kurt's neck, and Kurt feels some of the heat start to return, Blaine's body warm against his once again.

"I just-- I didn't even think," Kurt says faintly. "I was so scared and then it was coming _for_ you, Blaine, I couldn't let it--"

"Kurt," Blaine says again, reaching up to cup Kurt's face, turning his head and kissing him hard on the mouth. And _oh_ , there's the warmth again, the happiness and hope and _relief_ , replacing the dark sadness left over from the Dementor's presence. Blaine's kissing him deep and desperate, trying to pull Kurt closer and closer, and it takes Kurt at least a minute to realize they're still sitting in the middle of the dark, cold alley.

"Sorry," Blaine says breathlessly, pressing close to Kurt, burying his face in Kurt's neck. "I just. You saved my _life_ , Kurt."

"I know, I was there," Kurt says faintly, and Blaine laughs, his breath warm over Kurt's skin. "And god, I can't stop shaking, we should--"

"Let's go back," Blaine says softly, linking his arm back with Kurt's and leading him back toward lights and voices. "When we get back to the castle we can take a bath and spend the rest of the night by the fire, yeah?"

"That sounds _amazing_ ," Kurt breathes out.

-

It is amazing. It's _more_ than amazing. After hijacking the Prefects' bath until they got the feeling back in their fingers and toes, Kurt and Blaine sneak up to the Room of Requirement in their bathrobes, opening the door to find a cozy little room with a huge fireplace, an equally huge rug in front of it, and a table off to the side that's filled with pieces of chocolate and dozens of mugs with various flavors of hot cocoa.

"Can we just, like, move in here?" Blaine asks in awe, grabbing a mug and settling down on the rug with Kurt. "I can't believe you actually got it to make a bear-skin rug, too. Even if it's freaking me out a little."

"Yeah, I'm not sure how that particular cliché happened," Kurt wonders out loud. "But don't worry, I know fake fur when I see it and this is definitely synthetic," Kurt assures Blaine, taking a sip of hot cocoa and closing his eyes with the way it feels, warmth spreading out from his throat to his whole body, the tension draining away. "I think this stuff is _actually_ magic," Kurt mumbles.

"Right? I can completely forgive the room for the creepy bear rug," Blaine says. Kurt smiles, opening his eyes back up see Blaine lying down on his side, his robe falling open to show some of his chest, still flushed pink from the bath. Kurt feels a different but no less pleasant kind of heat spread out from his stomach and he sets his mug down, licking his lips.

"My Patronus is a bear, you know," Kurt says softly, watching the reflection of the flames flicker in Blaine's eyes. Blaine's eyebrows furrow, though, where he's staring back at Kurt.

"Kurt, no it's not."

Kurt frowns. "What are you talking about? I've been practicing since fourth year, working to perfect the spell because I knew we wouldn't get to learn in school. It's always been a bear."

Blaine sits up. "Did you not see it tonight? It was _way_ too small to be a bear, Kurt."

"Maybe it was a baby bear, then," Kurt snaps, feeling ridiculous, and Blaine rolls his eyes.

"Can you cast it again? Right now?"

Kurt hesitates, not wanting to make a fool of himself if he can only conjure pathetic wisps of white smoke, but he realizes a few seconds later that it's just Blaine, and that if being warm and happy by the fire while snow falls gently outside isn't enough of a pleasant thought to give Kurt a Patronus, then what is?

Kurt pulls his wand out of his robe pocket and concentrates, focusing on how he feels right now, the warmth and happiness that comes with being _loved_ , and when he whispers, " _Expecto Patronum_ ," a small white creature comes trotting out of his wand. It isn't until the animal sits down, ears twitching, long nose and head stripes visible, that Kurt freezes, wide-eyed. It's-- but of course it is. It couldn't have been anything else, truly.

"Oh," Blaine says softly, leaning forward almost like he wants to get up and pet the Patronus. "So does that mean--"

"Well, it certainly doesn't mean I have a secret affinity for badgers," Kurt mumbles, waving his wand and watching the animal trot in a few circles before disappearing. "It used to be a bear, though, I swear."

"I've read that Patronuses can change," Blaine says, crawling over so he's closer to Kurt. "Maybe just tonight, because you saved me--"

But Kurt shakes his head, already knowing the answer like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "It's not a badger because I saved you, Blaine. I-- I was able to save you because I _love_ you. Because you love me. And--"

Kurt doesn't get to finish because Blaine's surging forward, cupping Kurt's face with both hands and kissing him hard enough that Kurt falls back to his elbows, heart racing and stomach twisting up when Blaine pulls back to stare at him and stroke his thumbs over Kurt's jaw.

"I do love you, you know. So much."

"I do know," Kurt replies softly, smiling up at Blaine. "It's a good thing I love you back, I suppose."

"It's the best thing, really," Blaine says, grinning widely now, and Kurt laughs breathlessly as Blaine pins him down on the rug and kisses him deep enough that Kurt can taste the chocolate on Blaine's tongue, feel the heat everywhere their bodies are touching. Kurt knows it's silly - just about as silly as having a badger for a Patronus, really - but in that moment, stretched out in front of a fire with Blaine warm and solid on top of him, kissing at his neck, Kurt feels like he'll never be cold again.

 


End file.
